This is a little more wrenching than I imagined. I'm going to have to give it some time. It originally seemed getting my thoughts out there would help purge the poison this stalking has put on me. Instead, it seems it just stirs it up. My sleep is more elusive after I write. I am seeking peace. Maybe I'll give it a few days.
Another crazy thing: New neighbors next door.....one of them drives a vehicle just like stalker-man's!!! Looks like it except darker color. Sounds like it driving up to my house - no I'm not paranoid.........really.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
my brother's keeper......but not my stalker's!!
Why is it that I felt so much for my stalker? Why did I want him to get counseling? Why do I remember so vividly telling him that if he didn't get help he would never have a decent, healthy relationship with anybody? All this while he was still abusing me....
I was brought up in a humble household. We did not have much in the way of material things. We had plenty for our lifestyle, simple that it was, and we always had plenty to give. Anyone in need of a break or a few dollars could always get it from my dad. Our little grocery store always had credit accounts. And, Daddy would always give somebody a few dollars and hold their chainsaw or lawnmower for it. I'm sure there was never any interest earned. If somebody's car broke down, Daddy would work on it for days if need be. We treated everybody politely. It's funny looking back. My parents were both so quiet and timid almost. How did they come up with the idea of opening a store to sell groceries to the public? Meeting people seemed to intimidate them... I'll have to bring this up with Mom sometime.
I believe, always have, that we must participate and contribute to the community that we are a part of. Just as we treat other as we would have them treat us. The community offers more to us when we participate and give to it.
I was brought up in a humble household. We did not have much in the way of material things. We had plenty for our lifestyle, simple that it was, and we always had plenty to give. Anyone in need of a break or a few dollars could always get it from my dad. Our little grocery store always had credit accounts. And, Daddy would always give somebody a few dollars and hold their chainsaw or lawnmower for it. I'm sure there was never any interest earned. If somebody's car broke down, Daddy would work on it for days if need be. We treated everybody politely. It's funny looking back. My parents were both so quiet and timid almost. How did they come up with the idea of opening a store to sell groceries to the public? Meeting people seemed to intimidate them... I'll have to bring this up with Mom sometime.
I believe, always have, that we must participate and contribute to the community that we are a part of. Just as we treat other as we would have them treat us. The community offers more to us when we participate and give to it.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Protect the attacker
I feel so very let down. Do these people in charge of whatever, however wrongs are prosecuted have so little disregard for victims that they treat us with something less than courtesy?? Or is it simply that our so called "civil rights" or our "right to privacy" has become so warped that the attacker is given more rights, privileges and honor than the victims.
I've learned that if I were to be granted a permanent restraining order against my stalker that I would keep the courts advised of my residence and my place of work. They would in turn keep my stalker informed of this information. However, I would not be advised in any way, shape or form of his information!!! I can't even know what county he resides in. When I asked, I was advised, "Oh, we can't give out that kind of information." He can continue to attack me and I can't find out what area he lives in so I can avoid it and hopefully increase my safety!!! I am stupefied...........The message this sends is that the courts will keep my attacker informed of my every move but I can't even know his whereabouts.....unbelievable.
Just before stalker-man's call on Dec. 22nd, I was interested in a job on the island. I thought at that time he had moved back to McIntosh County. Then he called with a island payphone number. I wanted to know if he was living there still or again. They couldn't/wouldn't give me this info. Look folks, I don't want to take a job there if he lives there. Hello - it's an island!! One way on, one way off...........Why would I want to work right inside the lion's den!!!! Give me the information to at least keep myself safe. Needless to say, I withdrew my resume for that position.
This whole thing gets more absurd as it goes on. I am the one being stalked but yet, I am the one making all the adjustments to my life. He's out foot loose and fancy free and protected by the courts.
I've learned that if I were to be granted a permanent restraining order against my stalker that I would keep the courts advised of my residence and my place of work. They would in turn keep my stalker informed of this information. However, I would not be advised in any way, shape or form of his information!!! I can't even know what county he resides in. When I asked, I was advised, "Oh, we can't give out that kind of information." He can continue to attack me and I can't find out what area he lives in so I can avoid it and hopefully increase my safety!!! I am stupefied...........The message this sends is that the courts will keep my attacker informed of my every move but I can't even know his whereabouts.....unbelievable.
Just before stalker-man's call on Dec. 22nd, I was interested in a job on the island. I thought at that time he had moved back to McIntosh County. Then he called with a island payphone number. I wanted to know if he was living there still or again. They couldn't/wouldn't give me this info. Look folks, I don't want to take a job there if he lives there. Hello - it's an island!! One way on, one way off...........Why would I want to work right inside the lion's den!!!! Give me the information to at least keep myself safe. Needless to say, I withdrew my resume for that position.
This whole thing gets more absurd as it goes on. I am the one being stalked but yet, I am the one making all the adjustments to my life. He's out foot loose and fancy free and protected by the courts.
Insult to injury
If anyone reads this and wants to offer some advice. Feel free. I am clueless.
My wonderful cousin and her husband each began blogs following the sudden and very tragic death of their 11 year old daughter. Keeping this blog has been cathartic for them. Not that my troubles are in anyway comparable to their incredible grief, but I thought a blog might give me some solace.
But here's the insult to injury part: I have been relentlessly stalked by a man that I started dating about this time last year. Yes, he was abusive. Verbally from the beginning. Physically in July and August.
I finally broke down from the embarrassment and shock and disbelief and started calling the police near the end of September. He was arrested on misdemeanor stalking. Five days in jail. Oct. 8 he was released on bond with order to not contact me in any way. He broke that order by starting to call again a few days after he was released. The same week my cousin's child died. I feel like I didn't get to grieve and support my family during this tragedy because of this man's selfishness. Anyway - back to stalker-man. I told him to stop calling or I'd call the police again. Of course he didn't stop. I went back to the Chief Magistrates office with my answering machine and cell phone, etc. The Judge issued another arrest warrant because stalker-man broke the bond order. Of course he hid from the police from Oct. 22 to Halloween day when the police officers in the next county swooped down on him. Stalker-man spent Oct. 31 to Nov. 15 in jail before another bond hearing. Somehow he managed to get up the money for a lawyer and the bail-bondsman. The bail was set at $10,000 and again he was to have no contact with me. Nov. 27 he started calling again. Always from payphones.
Most were hangup calls. Or made when I was not home. Dec. 22 I answered without looking at the caller id box first. It was him! Fear shot through me in an instant. I said I was going to call the police and hung up. I did call. Another report was made. I was advised to pick up a copy and go back to Magistrate court. I did that too. Unfortunately, it was the Friday after Christmas and pretty much everybody was already gone for the New Year's holiday. I leave the courthouse to find this idiot standing by my car!!! Can you believe it??? I called the police again. This time it was City. Unbelievably, the responding officer is the husband to the officer supervising stalk-boy's bond release. The police searched but couldn't find him. The bond supervisor said she would seek a revocation on his bond. She went back inside and contacted a superior court judge to hear it on Jan. 4. She then called he husband/responding officer back and had him inform me of the date and time for the court hearing. When that date, Jan. 4 came around I called her to find out where the hearing was going to be. She said it had never been scheduled because there wasn't enough time to notify stalker-man to appear. I am just dumbfounded! Why didn't anyone let me know?
Back on Dec. 12 this thing was supposed to go to court/trial/whatever. I never heard a thing. I've emailed the D. A.'s office twice with details about his contacting me since the last bond hearing referencing the police reports. I've called and left voice mail for the D. A.'s clerk twice. No response whatsoever!!!!
I felt foolish and stupid because I hadn't reported these attacks sooner. Now I feel even more greatly foolish and stupid!!! Now I know why so many of these crimes go unreported. Not only am I this creep's victim, not only am I terrified of every little thing now, etc./etc/etc....Now I feel that the court system is further assaulting me. - almost as an extension of him. They are perpetuating the torture and humiliation . I am told of a court date, time, etc. and all this torture comes rushing forward. I again live in this altered existence. Then, - - nothing. He's not even been notified to be there. I can't relive this over and over again for nothing. They haven't even read over all the info I gave them back on Oct. 22 for the felony hearing.
I am just shocked. I thought if you were in danger you 1.) called the police 2)prosecuted the wrongdoer 3) began to feel safe again. WRONG!!!! It is a terrible shame we have these laws on the books; our dedicated police officers are hired to protect us; and then the courts don't care or even pay attention.
The caring and concerned officers - men & women - city and county that have responded to my 911 calls are just as victimized by this travesty as I am. I could clearly see in their faces as they were trying to comfort and quiet my fears as they took down the details, that they really believe that if I took their reports and followed their instruction to go to the courts that this stalker-man would be dealt with. Not so. I have been desperately let down by the DA, the bond supervisor, whatever - But, it's a real shame that the court will not even back up our city and county police officers. I can't understand this.
Stalker-man always said he'd never have to go to jail. Is Georgia this backward? Is it a local thing? Does anyone care?
You know, I not just some unhappy customer. I have been slandered, beaten, raped, stalked, I've had my life threatened. This creep even threatened my mother. He has often retorted that he would never go to jail. He is crafty. I guess sometimes the bad guys do always win!!!!
My wonderful cousin and her husband each began blogs following the sudden and very tragic death of their 11 year old daughter. Keeping this blog has been cathartic for them. Not that my troubles are in anyway comparable to their incredible grief, but I thought a blog might give me some solace.
But here's the insult to injury part: I have been relentlessly stalked by a man that I started dating about this time last year. Yes, he was abusive. Verbally from the beginning. Physically in July and August.
I finally broke down from the embarrassment and shock and disbelief and started calling the police near the end of September. He was arrested on misdemeanor stalking. Five days in jail. Oct. 8 he was released on bond with order to not contact me in any way. He broke that order by starting to call again a few days after he was released. The same week my cousin's child died. I feel like I didn't get to grieve and support my family during this tragedy because of this man's selfishness. Anyway - back to stalker-man. I told him to stop calling or I'd call the police again. Of course he didn't stop. I went back to the Chief Magistrates office with my answering machine and cell phone, etc. The Judge issued another arrest warrant because stalker-man broke the bond order. Of course he hid from the police from Oct. 22 to Halloween day when the police officers in the next county swooped down on him. Stalker-man spent Oct. 31 to Nov. 15 in jail before another bond hearing. Somehow he managed to get up the money for a lawyer and the bail-bondsman. The bail was set at $10,000 and again he was to have no contact with me. Nov. 27 he started calling again. Always from payphones.
Most were hangup calls. Or made when I was not home. Dec. 22 I answered without looking at the caller id box first. It was him! Fear shot through me in an instant. I said I was going to call the police and hung up. I did call. Another report was made. I was advised to pick up a copy and go back to Magistrate court. I did that too. Unfortunately, it was the Friday after Christmas and pretty much everybody was already gone for the New Year's holiday. I leave the courthouse to find this idiot standing by my car!!! Can you believe it??? I called the police again. This time it was City. Unbelievably, the responding officer is the husband to the officer supervising stalk-boy's bond release. The police searched but couldn't find him. The bond supervisor said she would seek a revocation on his bond. She went back inside and contacted a superior court judge to hear it on Jan. 4. She then called he husband/responding officer back and had him inform me of the date and time for the court hearing. When that date, Jan. 4 came around I called her to find out where the hearing was going to be. She said it had never been scheduled because there wasn't enough time to notify stalker-man to appear. I am just dumbfounded! Why didn't anyone let me know?
Back on Dec. 12 this thing was supposed to go to court/trial/whatever. I never heard a thing. I've emailed the D. A.'s office twice with details about his contacting me since the last bond hearing referencing the police reports. I've called and left voice mail for the D. A.'s clerk twice. No response whatsoever!!!!
I felt foolish and stupid because I hadn't reported these attacks sooner. Now I feel even more greatly foolish and stupid!!! Now I know why so many of these crimes go unreported. Not only am I this creep's victim, not only am I terrified of every little thing now, etc./etc/etc....Now I feel that the court system is further assaulting me. - almost as an extension of him. They are perpetuating the torture and humiliation . I am told of a court date, time, etc. and all this torture comes rushing forward. I again live in this altered existence. Then, - - nothing. He's not even been notified to be there. I can't relive this over and over again for nothing. They haven't even read over all the info I gave them back on Oct. 22 for the felony hearing.
I am just shocked. I thought if you were in danger you 1.) called the police 2)prosecuted the wrongdoer 3) began to feel safe again. WRONG!!!! It is a terrible shame we have these laws on the books; our dedicated police officers are hired to protect us; and then the courts don't care or even pay attention.
The caring and concerned officers - men & women - city and county that have responded to my 911 calls are just as victimized by this travesty as I am. I could clearly see in their faces as they were trying to comfort and quiet my fears as they took down the details, that they really believe that if I took their reports and followed their instruction to go to the courts that this stalker-man would be dealt with. Not so. I have been desperately let down by the DA, the bond supervisor, whatever - But, it's a real shame that the court will not even back up our city and county police officers. I can't understand this.
Stalker-man always said he'd never have to go to jail. Is Georgia this backward? Is it a local thing? Does anyone care?
You know, I not just some unhappy customer. I have been slandered, beaten, raped, stalked, I've had my life threatened. This creep even threatened my mother. He has often retorted that he would never go to jail. He is crafty. I guess sometimes the bad guys do always win!!!!
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